my [head+throat+heart] hurt.

mentally, my head hurts. too many things to think about. my presentation tomorrow. courses that i need to facilitate the day after all through the coming wednesday. problems keep on coming, and i can't stop thinking about them. really troublesome. watching the news in our national television makes matters worse. i've had enough of the so-called yang berhormats fighting their heads off in the parliament. don't they have better things to do?

physically, my throat hurts too. i wonder why. haven't yelled at my students the past couple of weeks. sometimes it feels itchy too. i want my 'cap ibu dan anak'!! a.s.a.p!!

emotionally, my heart hurts. badly. due to some circumstances that i could not bring myself to write them up for public to read. just so you know that these past few days, Allah's been testing me. whether i can keep myself straight after dugaan demi dugaan given to me. now, i think i had enough of these few people that keep on messing with my head+heart. up to a point that i could not care less of what they do. they won't matter to me anymore.

come school holiday, a.s.a.p. i really need a break from all of this!

of being single and young(er).

is it a sin being a single? did i bring any harm to anyone just because i have not settled down? why do i get treated badly just because i'm not married? i've had enough of these sort of double standards already. since working, approximately 4 years ago, being single is like a death sentence to me (and a few friends). i have to attend courses that those who are married did not want to go, simply because they had problems with 'anak²'. and i have to go to meetings because those same people can't make it due to family problem and i have nothing to think about at home. my god!!!! don't us, single people, have our own problems too? it may not be about children or husband or in-laws, but a problem is a problem no matter how you put it. no one is to judge how great or simple a problem is if you're not the one facing it.

me being single is not a choice. this is what we i like to call fate. if i can just pick anyone to be wed, i would have done it years ago! who does not want to be married and start a family? everybody does. it's just that my 'time' is yet to arrive. and for that, i have to be 'punished' by doing stuff that mostly, are supposed to be done together as colleagues. i am trying my best to settle down, to have my own child(ren) et cetera. maybe i should try harder. but in the mean time, cant' they just give me a break, or better yet, treat me equally?

and is it my fault being born late? and start working when i'm only in my early 20s? me being young [if not the youngest..], is that a ticket for anyone not to show some respect to me? in this day and age, i believe in equality. in order to be respected by everyone, you have to respect others too. i have done my part, the best that i can [i.e respecting my superiors], but why can't they show me some respect too? when they give orders, can't they talk in a softer tone? and show some nice facial expression once in a while.. is that so hard to do? a simple and honest gesture means a lot to anyone.

i know we can't stay young forever. i am already 25 (ouch!!), and that's not young anymore. but being the junior in my workplace, plus a single one too, i don't think i get respected for being me. i maybe younger, but i work like everyone too. so don't i deserve a little bit of respect? can't older people respect their juniors?

these are some of the reasons why i really want to fly away from my workplace. even though it's the best compared to my friends', but i'm afraid i can't handle this kind of pressure anymore. i am, intentionally or not, being DISCRIMINATED just because i am (still) single and young(er).

or, to ease my pain, shall i just find a husband right away?
rotflol.

just not my day

well.. i've written/typed quite a long entry before this, but decided to delete them all.. the words were just so dull. it's like i'm writing in my own personal diary or something like that. lol. as you can see up there, today's just not my day. it started out well this morning. i was feeling happy and cheerful and fresh and full of energy. i came to work feeling very, very positive.

but a colleague informed me a devastating news just as i was about to start work. he told me that our boss [a.k.a the headmistress] was denied of her application for an early retirement by the ministry. my mood changed all of a sudden. in my lab, my mp3 player kept playing moody+gloomy+emo songs all morning. that news was not what i wanted to hear today.

i quickly applied for a transfer right after that. one to kelantan,my hometown and the other one is to besut, a district of terengganu, the nearest to kelantan. i just have to leave this school, i thought. it's not that i don't like it here. in fact, the school's awesome. the facilities are complete. my collegues are all fine, they are very helpful and we are all like siblings already.

it's just that i can't imagine being under her administration for another year. can't handle the pressure. she's just not the type of boss that you'd want to work with. or at least not my type. i know it's beyond my power to 'choose' my boss. and as cliche as it may sound, i know life is not a bed of thorn-less roses. but since i have other options, i would take up any chance that i had in order to 'run away' from her.

today's not my day. hope to hear some thing good soon. sigh~

highlights

I almost forgot how great it is just to be with friends.
Hanging out together, chatting about stuff that doesn't really matter to the world [read: gossip!]
It was a bliss last school break though, as I got the chance to do those stuff.
Since I've been working [4th year now], I don't think I get to 'enjoy' much.
Except during weekends with Shambie [when she leaves her beloved Terengganu] and Aboon [when she's on leave from work/study].
Other than that, internet is my sole source of entertainment and joy.
Oh, and my niece and nephews that I had to babysit.


I'm glad I decided to meet up and catch up with those closest to me while I was in KL last week.
These are the highlights of my [as Mache and everybody like to put it] rather SHORT visit..;

• house warming @ fqrl's. I got to meet [finally!!] an old friend with a totally new 'image'. Yeah, he got me stunned and out of words. It was definitely a great rendezvous even though I was being picked on [and 'betrayed'] most of the time. Oh, did I mention we were 2 hours late to the house warming? All thanks to Pak Lah's announcement on oil price hike earlier that day.
• 'lepak' @living room with Shaxu while waiting for Idya [before going to fqrl's crib]. I still can't forget the yummylicious popiah basah Shaxu brought me and the fact that we were watching RTM at that moment. LOL. Oh, we were busy gossiping anyways. :D
  
• adhoc lunch date with Asni + Adrin. A short meet-up slash catch-up session, but it was worth it. It felt like yearssssss since I last saw Asni.
• a VERY short date with Nanakuhhhh.. too bad I had to rush home that day. But @least I was able to get myself an MNG purse on her advice, sadly we didn't have time to shop for shoes..huuhuhuhuhu..
• I got to meet 2 bloggers. Kak pB and ninadewe [from Indonesia]. Had breakfast with kak pB, but only spent a few minutes with Nina..both of us had prior plans.
• lastly, the NEVERENDING phone calls to Idya.. mostly [if not ALL] asking for directions. FYI, I got lost multiple times, and yeah it took me 'hours' to get to a place that shoud have taken only a few minutes according to Idya.. :P Oh, yes. I got HONKED dozens of times too.

All in all, I had a splendid time even though it was limited.
I apologize to those who weren't informed that I was coming.
As I said, it's work related [even though I didn't mention anything about it], and to find time to actually meet those mention above, amazed yours truly as well.
I ended up with a back ache anyway..I guess I really pushed myself that last day.
Hehehehehehehehehehe.

Okay, Mache and Fqrl.. I get your point.
I think I should do this more often. :p

Wassalam.

Meme

Assalamualaykum.

Just finished downloading 5 Malay songs from Top10mp3download.
This blog is currently one of my favourites.
I even downloaded Dafi's latest single!
Yup, that's how boring I am today.

Hence, I decided to blog hop whilst downloading and listening to the mp3s.

At last, I made up my mind to do the meme in Wan's blog.
Yeah, I'm that boring at this very moment!!
{and also to 'menyahut seruan' Tok Mudin + Achik to update..}

First Name - Nur Hafiza
Nickname - Fiz, Fizzy, Fiza, Fiz9, Fowler (seriously!), Nur, Chik
Name you wish you had - Am satisfied with my name.
What do people normally mistake your name - Nur Hafizah Hassan.
Birthday - 14 May 1983 [am I old??]
Birthplace - Kg Kutan Hulu, Wakaf Bharu.
Time of Birth - erkkk.. can't remember.
Single or taken - Single.
Zodiac sign - Taurus

YOUR APPEARANCES

How tall are you - 167cm
Wish you were taller - yup! but then, it's fine..
Eye color - very dark brown.
Eye color you want - won't change.. I like it just the way it is.
Natural Hair Colour - black.
Current Hair Colour - black.
Short or long hair - shoulder length
Ever dye your hair a bizarre colour - nope and never.
Curly,Straight,Wavy - wavy.
Last time you did something dramatic with your hair - never.. cutting it short is not that dramatic, right?
Glasses or contacts - none, alhamdulillah 20-20.. :D
Do you wear make-up - not for this couple of weeks.. damn jerawat!! huhuhuhu..
Ever had hair extensions - never had one and won't have one.
Paint your nails - never. never will.

IN THE OPPOSITE GENDER

What color eyes - whatever..as long as they're sexy in my eyes. *chuckles*
What color hair - his natural hair colour.
Shy or Outgoing - both and balanced.
Looks or personality - personality. .if he looks really good, I'll feel insecure.haha.
Sexy or Cute - sexy.. am not into cute boys..
Serious or Fun - know when to be serious and when to have fun.
Older or Younger than you - Older plish! Or at least the same age. Again I'll feel insecure if he's younger.
A turn on - Kelantanese. Well dressed. Makes more than me [economically..]
A turn off - Perokok tegar.. [at least he must have a WILL to stop]. Hairy-chested??

THIS OR THAT

Flowers or Chocolate - flowers
Pepsi or Coke - pepsi
Rap or Rock - erkk..neither
Relationship or One night stand -definitely a relationship.
School or Work - school is work in my case! hahaha..
Love or Money - both.
Movies or Music - both.
Country or City - country.
Sunny or Rainy days - rainy days.
Friends or Family - family first, then friends.

HAVE YOU EVER

Lied - I'd be lying if I said no.
Stole something - hrmmm..food from dining hall during SPM week? hahahaha..
Smoked - never..
Hurt someone close to you - yup.. my parents.. with my SPM results.
Broke someone’s heart - nope, because I've never been in love in order to break a heart.
Had your heart broken - yes.. one-sided love is the cause.
Wondered what was wrong with you - all the times.
Wish you were a prince/princess - nope, I live in REALITY.
Liked someone who was taken - hahahahha..of course.
Shaved your head - of course NOT.
Been in love - never.. can you believe it? now I'm being pathetic..ok, next question!
Used chopsticks - yes.
Sang in the mirror to yourself - nope.
Ever cried over someone - I have.
Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself - my weight?!. hahhaha
Do you think you’re attractive - not physically..
If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose - none..life's not a fairytale, sadly.
Do you play any sports -used to play volleyball.

FAVORITES

Flower - Lilies!!
Candy - minty ones..
Song - currently; Aizat's "Hanya Kau Yang Mampu"
Scent - The Bodyshop's Neroli Jasmine.
Colour - purple and pink?!
Movie - Shawshank Redemption.
Singer - Michael Buble
Words - "If you think you can, YOU CAN!"
Junk food - Twisties
Website - Mysoju.com, Chinkymovies.blogspot.com, harakahdaily.net :D
Lotion - I rarely use lotion..but if I do it has to be The Bodyshop's Strawberry.
Anime - not into anime, so I don't have a favourite.

* * * * *

There!!!
Penat seih~
Wassalam....~

mood-less.

Assalamualaykum..



The mood to write is disappearing.
Slowly..slowly moving away from me.
I need a break..just for a while.

Wassalam.

hols!

Assalamualaykum.

It's school break, my friends.
Hehehehehehehehehe..
From 7th - 15th of March 2008.
:D

InsyaAllah, if GE goes well [meaning we get the results as we wanted for our state..hehe], my family and I will be going to Cameron Highlands.
A getaway my brother in law has planned for all of us..[so not really connected to GE-lah]
I'm not really looking forward to go to Tanah Tinggi actually [as I'm more tempted to go shopping in KL], but alas, bila lagi kan?

Then on the 12th of March I'll be sitting for my PTK examination AGAIN.
Please, I'm in desperate need for your prayers so that I'll pass with flying colours this time.
For the record, in order to 'naik tangga gaji' [don't ask me what tangga means], we have to get Band 4 for the two papers we'll be sitting for.
Last time I only got Band 3 for both papers.
Sigh~

Lastly, to Pa'chik, in light of the coming GE, I pray for the wellness of our state, Kelantan Darul Naim.
May the Almighty Allah Subhanah Wataala be with us.
Amin.

Wassalam.

update!!

Assalamualaykum.

My previous post dated January 29th.
LOL.. I haven't been blogging here for exactly a month!
Good job, fizzy! Good job!
Thehehehehehhe..
Pa'chik hasn't been bugging me to update [perhaps he gave up doing that all the time! haha..], that's one of the reasons why no updates whatsoever from yours truly.

I also promised Achik I'd change my layout, but I have yet to find time to waste in order to do that.
Perhaps soon.. hopefully soon.
Reading Ms Istanbul's entries, they really made my heart smiles..
I'm happy for you! :)
And oh! I envy you for getting the VIP seat for the football game. :|
FYI, I'm a true Liverpool fan.. :D

At this very moment, I'm still struggling managing my time so that work can be completed accordingly.
I'm already wayyyyyyyyyy behind schedule for some work which got me really tensed.
My kids come second nowadays because of the stuff that we,teachers,have to do.
But blame my terrible time management, I just couldn't keep up sometimes.

The coming General Election is making me excited all over.
I can't wait to cast my vote on March 8th at my old primary school.
It's my FIRST GE,and political stuff really excites me now. LOL
Almost everyone is talking about changes right now.
I doubt that will happen in this coming GE,.. but Allah knows best. ;)
IMHO, the election SYSTEM itself needs severe REVAMP.
After we have a FAIR and JUST voting system, then only we can dream of having a change.
Am I being biased? Or obvious?

Well, it's just my humble sepuluh sen worth of thought

2sen~

Assalamualaykum.

Funny.

How come..
'seeing' somebody you know for quite a long time..
makes you feel disgusted?

Hysterical.

Why..
do some people change..
and be like everybody else in order to be 'accepted'?

Peculiar.

Sometimes it's hard not to notice when things have changed..
not for the better, but vice-versa.

--> What am I babbling about? Sigh~ ..just letting out my 'uneasiness' over things that have changed around me..that's all.. ;|

Oh!

Assalamualaykum.

It's approximately 1.15 am now.. and I don't feel sleepy at all even though I spent the whole day window shopping yesterday[15/12] with Shambie..
Correction. I was the one who ONLY did window shopping whereas Mademoiselle Shambie [who just got her 2 and a half month lump sum salary] shopped till she dropped!

Dropped her bank account low, that is! Hehehehehe..

It was fun seeing other people shop.. watching the RM50 notes slipping out one by one.
But truth be told, I forced myself to be patient..it's a lo--------ng way before the next pay.
So, yesterday it was only just another day at KB Mall, 'spying' on what to buy next week..
[I've quite a long list of products from The Body Shop alone... sheisshhhh~]


Enough ramblings about the boring stuff I did at home, I was actually speechless reading this forwarded email from TKCOGA.
Perhaps you have read this somewhere.. but I'll just share it anyway..
I couldn't find the ORIGINAL article though.. Google-d it, but to no avail.
Please read, minus the pictures which are supposed to accompany this article, it's worth reading.
Makes me so proud of such devoted Muslim leader.. Ahmadinejad.
Actually he kinda reminds me of Kelantan's [or pehaps Malaysia's??] most respectful leader, Tuan Guru Hj Nik Abdul Aziz.
His modesty, I find it similar to what Tuan Guru is.
Besides that, their will to change the lives of the citizens whilst maintaining the honour of Islam, IMHO, are equally strong.
This is definitely my own personal judgment, feel free to voice out your opinion if you think otherwise.
;)

The Life of Iranian President Ahmedi Nijad'

The Fox News TV (USA) asked the Iranian President Ahmedi Nijad;

'When you look into the mirror in the morning what do you say to yourself'?

He answered: I see the person in the mirror and tell him 'Remember,
you are no more than a small servant, ahead of you today is the heavy
responsibility, and that is to serve the Iranian nation'.

Ahmedi Nijad, the Iranian President who astonished many when he first
reached to the office of the Presidency by donating all the high valued
Iranian carpets to one of the mosques in Tehran by replacing them with the
low cost ordinary carpets.

He observed that there was a huge extravagant lounge for receiving and
welcoming the VIPs and he ordered it to be closed and asked the protocol
office to arrange for an ordinary room only with the wooden chairs.

On many instances he joins the cleaning staff of the municipality
for cleaning the streets in the area where his home and the Presidency are located.

Under his authority whenever he appoints any minister to his post he
gets a signed document from him with many points, particularly
highlighting that he shall remain poor and that his personal and his
relatives accounts will be watched and the day he leaves the ministry
shall be with dignity, and therefore it is not lawful for him or his
relatives to take any advantage of his office.

First of all he declared himself for all the 'Big' wealth and the
property he owned was a Peugeot 504 car, model 1977, an old small
house inherited from his father 40-years ago in one of the poorest
zones in Tehran. His accounts with a zero balance and the only money
comes in to his a/c was from his salary from the university as a
lecturer with an amount of US$ 250 only.

For your information the President still lives in that same house. This is
all what he owns; the president of one of the world's important countries;
strategically, economically, politically and with regard to its oil and
defence.

He even doesn't take his personal salary with the argument that all the
wealth belongs to the nation and he is the safeguard over it.

One of the things that impressed the staff at the presidency is the bag
the President brings with him every day, which contains his breakfast;
some sandwiches or bread with olive oil and cheese prepared by his
wife and eats and enjoys it with all happiness.

One of the other things he changed was his personal carrier 'the
President's Aircraft' to a cargo aircraft in order to save the
spending from the public treasury and he ordered that he will be
flying with the ordinary airline in the economy class.

He organizes meetings every now and then with all the ministers to know
their activities and efficiency and he closed down the office of the
Manager of the president and any minister can enter to his office without
any permission. He also stopped the welcome ceremonies like the red
carpet, the photo session or any personal advertisement or respect of
any kind while visiting any place in the country.

Whenever he has to stay in any of the hotels he asks them to make sure not
to give him a room with any big bed because he doesn't like to sleep on
beds but rather likes to sleep on the floor on a simple mattress with a
blanket.

Refer to some of the photographs which also confirm the above.


The Iranian president is sleeping in the guest room of his house after
getting away from his special guards who follow him wherever he goes and
photo is taken by his small brother according to the Wifaq Newspaper which
published this photo and the next day the photo was published in most of
the world's newspapers and magazines and particularly the Americans.

During the prayer you can see that he is not sitting in the first row.

And the final photo is of his dining room where the president is busy
eating his simple meal.

* * * * *

It may sounds/looks too good to be true, and is arguable.
But let's say it's for real, don't you think he's an awesome leader?
I shall look for the origin of this article..and the photos** too.
But upon reading the email, I recalled Pa'chik's entry regarding our ministers' monthly salary..

I laughed hard. Sheepishly.

If there's an army of Ahmadinejads in our country, I guess we'll be living in Heaven on earth.
Then again, that will be too good to be true too, right?
Wassalam.

**Just as I was about to'report' to Pa'chik that I already posted an entry, I was shocked to see that he ALSO posted an entry on Ahmadinejad. [Macam janji-janji pulak..hehehe..] Oh, and I managed to get the photos at last.

bonjour!

Assalamualaykum.

It took me a few text messages by Madame Asni when I finally decided to update here.
Was I busy 'elsewhere'??
Hrmmmmmmmmmmm...
Well, not really but partially yes. Hehe.

So many things that I really wanna share here, but right at this very moment, nothing seems to be coming out from my mind.
My fingers just keep on knocking on the keyboard without no specific topic at all.
Perhaps it's better for me to just be the reader this time.
At least during this school holidays.

Being at home is kinda distracting for me,you know..
Why?? THE KITCHEN is always calling out for me. LOL
I spent most of my time baking [if not sleeping in my room..hehe]

This couple of week I managed to bake a good almond tart for my family.
My first attempt,and according to Ma, it was scrumptious. Ehemmm!
Besides that, a chocolate cake [Abah's favourite now] and a horrible-looking-yet-delicious fruit pudding.
Tomorrow insyaAllah it will be either chocolate brownies or chocolate cupcakes.
[Baking gives me satisfaction somehow...]

I've been watching Martha Stewart quite religiously now, so no wonder lah kan?
Hehehehehehehehehe..

I guess that's all for now.
A little update from me just to make sure everybody knows I'm still around.

Wassalam.

freedom

Assalamualaykum.

These days, I mourn over the un-democratic situations in our country.
I feel like the freedom to state one's own opinion is blocked.
Citizens are being treated like rubbish.. with no mercy at all.
I wonder if this is the peaceful Malaysia we always boast about?

True, demonstration or street rally is not our 'budaya'.
Starting from the Batu Buruk incident to the BERSIH rally and the latest was the Hindraf demo.
But IMHO, the demonstrations would never turned out to be ugly if our police force did their part well.
After all they didn't mean any harm to the public at all.
If they weren't provoked with water canon and poison gas, I doubt they would act violently.
This is rather a case of something that was suposed to be so simple and easy to handle turned the other way around.

Truth be told, this entry is not my way of letting out my wrath against the government.
But watching the recent events,just made my heart ache.
There are definitely better ways to handle stuff but we preferred the hard and harsher way.
THE WORLD IS WATCHING US..
Sadly the 'friendly Malaysians' remains a tale now.

Media blackout?
Now that's another story to be wrapped up next time.

In the mean time I just need to ease my sadness upon what's happening in our beloved country.
And by that I mean another fruit pudding coming right up into my fridge!
Hehehehehehehe..

Wassalam.

Hope?

Assalamualaykum.

Last Tuesday, I visited my colleague [as mentioned here].
It was good to see that she took it really well.
Upon listening to her story on how her son died, I held back my tears.
She's just so strong. So strong. :|

Hence, I think we can't be sad all the time, can we?

That day I also met my best friend Mizot before she leaves for Fukui,Japan..
[which she already has by now..]
And on the same day I went home to my mummy+daddy [as I was already in Pasir Mas..]
Hehehehehehehehehehehe.
Managed to bake a chocolate brownie and Alhamdulillah, according to my colleagues the next day, the brownie pieces were scrumptious.
[or perhaps they were just trying to be polite.. to make me feel good.. LOL]

Something 'big' happened too.. the night I was at home.
Something that brought smiles to my face and causing me to oversleep.
And making me texted my superior that I was gonna be a bit late to school. :D
That thing just made me wanna share this song with y'all reading this.
Do cherish the lovely melody of the song and the beautifully written lyrics.
[and I dedicate this song especially to Ms Istanbul.. ;)]

♥ ♥ ♥
SERIBU TAHUN - by Imran Ajmain
[OST 'Kerana Cintaku Saerah']

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini
Biar berputar utara selatan ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia

Relaku mengejarmu seribu batu jauh lagi
Tapi benarkah kaki ku-kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini
Biar membisu burung bersiulan terlelah gelombang lautan
Ku masih setia

Adakah engkau tahu... ini cinta
Adakah engkau pasti... ini untuk selama-lamanya

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini...
Biar berputar utara selatan ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia

Jangan putus harapan...
Sedia setia...

♥ ♥ ♥

Wassalam.

Reasons...

Assalamualaykum.

Things happen for a reason, and sometimes the reason is beyond our understandings.

I have my own reasons why I did what I did.. and most of the times I just need people to understand without questioning why.

Freedom is what I need but somehow I feel as if it's been taken away far from me, bit by bit till I'm suffocating.

Sometimes, I think being incognito to some is a blessing in disguise! sigh..

No explanation.

Wassalam.

p/s: To 'anonymous' in the previous entry.. yes, I know Ustzh. Soliha.. :)

MyRamadhan~

Assalamualaykum..

I try not to be "malas" this time.
This new template should encourage me to write more.
But until now, the feeling remains the same.
It seems like whenever I try to post an entry here, my mind just goes numb.
Blank.

Well, perhaps I should just share with anyone reading this blog about my Ramadhan this year.

Alhamdulillah, I feel like there's something extra special about this holy month of Ramadhan.
This Ramadhan in particular.
It's something that I can't really explain further, but I know it's special.
For Asni, maybe it's because this is her first Ramadhan being a wife, so no elaboration for that.
So obvious that this Ramadhan is extra special to you, darling. :)

But for yours truly, well as I said I can't say much because I don't understand it either.
Maybe the way I 'celebrate' Ramadhan is different this year.
In what way?

• This Ramadhan, Mum doesn't have to force me to go to the mosque for Taraaweh.. LOL
• This Ramadhan, I started to enjoy going to ceramah agama with my parents every Friday.
• This Ramadhan, I get to spend quality times with both my family and friends.
• This Ramadhan, I get to know quite A LOT of new friends [read:bloggers], they're all phenomenal!
  
• This Ramadhan, insyaAllah I'll be finishing the 30 juzu' of AlQuran.. [I started longggg ago, not on the 1st Ramadhan itself though.. :(]
  

So, maybe it's the way I fulfill this holy month that makes it extra special pour moi.
All I know is, Syawal this year won't be as good as before.
I don't get to see quite a lot of my acquaintances this Eid.
Sigh~

Wassalam..

Five(s)

Assalamualaykum..and good morning.

I was in front of the PC during free period and was thinking of what should I write today..
I thought hard but instead I clicked on Asni's blog and voilllllaa!!
There's today's topic! LOL

Actually it's the familiar TAG game we always have in our little blogosphere.
And since I'm clueless of what to write since this early moring, I decided to take up the 'challenge' hence completing an entry here.
Now that's killing two birds with a stone pour moi.

5 FAVORITE FOOD THAT I FEEL LIKE HAVING NOW:
[which I can..legally.. hehehehehe..]

• Asni's chocolate cake with lots of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup on it..
• My mum's Ikan Percik.
• Secret Recipe's Chicken Cornish.
• McDonald's Oreo McFlurry.
  
• Sushi..

5 FOOD THAT I'D LIKE TO HAVE FOR BREAKFAST (after Ramadhan-lah):

• Nestle Honey Stars with cold fresh milk.
• Nasi Kerabu with Daging Bakar..
• Pulut Panggang.
• Nasi Kapit with Sambal Ikan.. [one of Kelantan's special delicacies..]
• Nasi Dagang Kelantan with the same Sambal Ikan.

5 FOOD I'D MOST LIKELY BUY FOR BERBUKA TODAY:

• Guess I won't be buying anything.. will break fast with Ma+Adik at home today. :)
  

The tag game ends here, as I won't be tagging anyone.
But in case you're as clueless as I am this morning, feel free to share yours.. :)

Hrmmmm.. Ramadhan is coming to an end real soon.
I feel so sad deep down in my heart..
Hopefully we'll all get to 'meet' Ramadhan again next year..
InsyaAllah..
Sigh~

Ramadhan 1428

Assalamualaykum.

And Alhamdulillah..
For this year Allah has granted us another chance to perform our ibadah [fasting]..
To start off this holy month of Ramadhan, I'd like to apologize to everyone reading this blog.
Sorry if I've wronged you in any way..
Purposely or vice versa.
Please find it in your heart to forgive all my wrong doings.

"These days of, the month of Ramadān, wherein the Qur'ān was revealed, from the Preserved Tablet to the earthly heaven on the Night of Ordainment [laylat al-qadr] from Him, a guidance (hudan, 'a guidance', is a circumstantial qualifier), guiding away from error, for the people, and as clear proofs, lucid verses, of the Guidance, the rulings that guide to truth, and, of, the Criterion, that discriminates between truth and falsehood.."

Selamat Menjalani Ibadah Puasa...
Wassalam~

3MlmTnp( * )

Assalamualaykum..

I've never realized the significance of this song until today.
As always, I cherised the lyric of any songs best while I'm driving.
And for this song it's no difference..
Man, what's wrong with me??
Wasn't I supposed to be ignorant?

+ + + + +

Fiq (Mentor) - 3 Malam Tanpa Bintang.

Kasih.. maafkan diriku
Banyak dosaku padamu
Tidak terhitung jari jemari daku
Tak dapat dibilang bagai bintang beribu
Sukarnya diriku menebus kekhilafan yang lalu

Kasih.. engkau tak bersalah
Hanya hatiku yang buta
Tulus dan ikhlas kau korban jiwa raga
Dan tanpa belas ku buat kau kecewa
Ku tahu dirimu sukar melupakan segalanya

Tiga malam tanpa bintang
Dan diriku dihimpit penyesalan
Arah tuju kian fanaKerna hilangnya manira
Bagaikan siang diselubung gerhana

Kembalikan senda tawa

Pulangkanlah manis disenyum manja
Ku pahatkan keinsafan
Dan patrikan kesetiaan
Sehingga nadi menafikan nyawa

+ + + + +

Pa'chik (and everybody)..
Please bear with me for a few more days ok? ;p
I think this won't take long..
The personality 'transition' is not that easy as it seems to be.

Psssst.. Shambie darling..
Do excuse our extremely short date last night.
So short you only managed to finish only a slice of that finger-licking papperoni dip-licious pizza.
[some more with Nuqman around and the waiter who acted like he's chasing us away..LOL!!]

Wassalam~

Decision.

Assalamualaykum.

To me, I'm a terrible decision maker.
I do things when time is almost running out.
People closest to me [especially my colleagues + boss], are well aware of this bad quality of mine.

On a different note, I'm getting better at making things worse these days.
But heck, I'm a different person now [I wish!!!]..
I am selfish, cruel and couldn't care less of what's happening around me.
As long as I'm happy, I'm happy.. [on the outside at least.]
Come to think of it, that's just another bad quality I've acquired, kan?
LOL

Getting back to the topic, I'm beginning to consider closing down this account @blogspot.
As much as I love my identity "fizhasan", I'm suffocating now.
I can't breathe here anymore.. and my mind is getting numb each day.
Perhaps I shouldn't reopen after the short hiatus status last time.

But still, I looooooooooove writing.
This passion I have for writing, no one can ever take it away.
Hence this blog is the place for me to let out my feelings.
[This is the downside of being single+available, ok people? Should I have a boyfriend, he might end up dead deaf by now listening to me whining.. huhu~]

However, it is still in my consideration.
I might close down this 'premise', but InsyaAllah I won't disappear in this blogosphere.
It is afterall, THE place where I got to know loads and loads of unforgettable, extraordinary and special people like:

KAK RUBY, ABE ID,KAK PB,PA'CHIK,DR SO'OD,ACHIK
and the list goes on..

They have all touched my heart in their own special kind of ways.
Up to a point that I felt like I've known them for ages.

Yes, I am terribly confused now.
But no, I don't think I felt a pang of guilt anymore.
I've just turned into the virtual version of "Cruella De Vil".

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Uncomfortable.

Assalamualaykum..



Sometimes I don't really understand LIFE.
Why should it be so difficult to understand?
Why must it bring sadness and confusion to me when all I need is PEACE?
Why, oh why??

These past few weeks I've been trying hard to be joyous.
To show my happy face to everyone..
I fought with my own emotion..trying to forget the sadness.
And the GUILT.

But in the end what good does that give me?
None. Nothing at all.

Perhaps I should be CRUEL this time around.
I should stop caring..
Because by showing that I care, I only make matters worse.
So ironic, don't you think?