145th

Assalamualaykum.

According to Blogger, this is my 145th entry for this blog.
Hrmmmmm.. that shows my so called 'enthusiasm' to write.
Only that much in three years of blogging here.
LOL

Anyway, today is the Merdeka Celebration @my school.
Just now we had our short assembly..
The kids sang a few songs and as for your truly, the duty never change.
I'm the 'honourable photographer' of the day..
[am using the digital camera not DSLR like 'some people'.. LOL]

Achik asked me to write about my trip to Langkawi.
[Hehehehhehe.. that bad kan? I have to have people remind me to update!! LOL]
Well, to cut the story short, the experience was a mixture of bitter+sweet memories.
Why? Wasn't I supposed to be enjoying myself there?
Well, I did not.

On the other hand, let me tell you the whole story lah.
Since I don't have any topics to say for now.
Hehehe..

I actually looked for some infos on the hotel before I went to Langkawi.
The first impression..well enough said that it brought smiles to me..
Nice architecture, picturesque scenery,beautiful rooms et cetera.
Seeing that got me so excited.. but at the same time I did prepare myself in case things differ from what they appeared to be.

From the ferry, as we were reaching the Jetty Point, I could see the hotel from afar.
And yes, it looked exactly like what I saw in the website.
Something like this :



Nice isn't it?
It somehow reminded me of the castles in the Fairy Tales..
Cinderella, Snow White et cetera..
But in reality it's definitely not that..

I mean.. yes..the building was beautiful and all..
But what got us all disappointed was the service and hotel management.
We were informed at the lobby that the hotel did not have enough rooms for us.

WTH?!!!

From the supposedly 2 persons per room, we were given some apartments.
10-12 pax each apartment.
Rasa macam rumah kongsi pun ada!!

As soon as we got into the apartment, came another shocking 'discovery'..
Carlsberg bucket was in the living room..
And the room was FILTHY..TOTAL MESS.
Our disappointment was beyond words.. come on lah kan, they should at least ask the housekeeping to tidy+clean up the room before giving us the key.

And you think that's bad enough?
Wait till you read this..

The next morning there was no water in our apartments!!

That's insanely ridiculous, right?
Something that's unacceptable for me..
Do tell me what you think.. can we accept that kind of service?
Sigh~

Even so, I managed to get something for my family,friends and myself too.
And besides the interesting Cable Car ride and shopping, I think nothing in Langkawi interests me.
Being there, I felt as if I was in Pengkalan Kubor or Rantau Panjang..
With makcik-makcik buying pinggan mangkuk periuk belanga and all..
Hehehehehe.. the only difference is the development lah..
Back in PK & RP we don't have Starbucks or Kenny Roger's or Sembonia Boutique et cetera..
LOL

I bought lots and lots of chocolates there. [yes, puan asni.. I did..]
And a handbag+purse+necklace pour moi.

In a nutshell, the trip was only okay for me.
Not that exciting.
Then again, maybe it's the company..
Afterall, I went there with the Puteris of UMNO kan.. LOL
[Pa'chik menjeling tajam... hehehehehehe..]
Maybe it would be a different experience if I went there with my family or friends.
Wallahualam.

Wassalam~

*untitled

Assalamualaykum..

Seems like my love for writing prevents me from leaving this blog for long.
As for yours truly, writing gives me a sort of satisfaction.
It feels like I'm sharing my thoughts and stories with people closest to me.
So, I really hope you'll accept me blogging again.

I've been blaming myself for quite some time now.
And I can't really say that I've stopped doing that.
I still feel that way..

Achik..Kak pB..thanks A LOT for giving me full support through the times I consider "hard".
And pa'chik for always making me laugh..
It was hard for me, even though you guys might feel otherwise.
But life must go on, and I've to face the fact.
And accept his decision.. [though that only saddens me~]

Tomorrow InsyaAllah I'll be leaving for a short trip to North.
If only I could meet him, that would be better,wouldn't it? :(
But no,on the other hand, that'll make thing even worse that it already has.

Anyways, this song means SO MUCH to me.
Do cherish the song and its meaningful lyrics.
The first time I heard it, I cried.. whole heartedly.

*****

TAPI BUKAN AKU
Kerispatih

jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
kutak ingin kau semakin kan terluka
tak ingin ku paksakan cinta ini
meski tiada sanggup untuk kau terima

aku memang manusia paling berdosa
khianati rasa demi keinginan semu
lebih baik jangan mencinta
biarku dan semua hatiku
karena takkan pernah kau temui
cinta sejati

berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini
dan jangan kau tangisi lagi
sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu
sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma
sebab rasa ku tlah mati untuk menyadarinya

semoga saja kan kau dapati
hati yg tulus mencintaimu
tapi bukan aku

*****

Wassalam~

Guilty!!

I feel so guilty..
So guilty I almost cried..
Felt so bad for being the curious me.
And even worse for knowing things I shouldn't have..
But the worst is to know that I've made you sad.

To that person..
[ you know who you are..]
I look up to you more than anyone else.
'Seeing' you making others happy and for all I know you're hurt inside.
Please find a spot in your heart to forgive me.
For being such a jerk and causing you discomfort.

I'm so sorry~

_______________________________________

fizzy..
like i said, its nobodys fault..
so no need to feel sad, guilty, apologize etc..
i have no reason to be mad..
:)

That's how I felt nonetheless.
I know you're not angry, but like 'anonymous' said, perhaps I've made you uncomfortable/uneasy with what happened.
Ermmm..thanks for leaving a note.
I do feel a little better. :|

ALHAMDULILLAH!!

Assalamualaykum.

Praise be to Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Alhamdulillah, Salhi Khaiessa Ahmad who has been missing for the past few weeks, was found well and healthy in Kuantan Hospital.
Apparently someone had found him wondering around and decided to send him to the hospital.

This good news was informed by my best friend, fQrl just now.
I was not aware that there was a blog created by Yie's friends as soon as they heard the news about him missing.
Anyways, to have such caring friends like them is a blessing, indeed.
Your effort guys, hanya Allah dapat membalasnya. :)
Please click here for more details.

The thought of Yie going all the way to Kuantan worries me, somehow.
I really can't imagine how he ended up in Kuantan alone.
:

Syukur Alhamdulillah though, every thing's okay now.
And by now, he must've been with his family already.
InsyaAllah.


Wassalam~

Mixed!

Assalamualaykum..

Felt as if I've been leaving this blog for ages.. LOL
Well, truth be told, when blogs become partially blocked now, that affects my enthusiasm to write.
Not that there weren't any issues to be brought up and shared, actually it's the other way around.
But I wasn't just in the mood to blog.

Anyways, I have mixed feelings now.

Confused. Sad. Scared.Relieved.

There are just so many things happening at the same time.
Well, I better not think.. tomorrow insyaAllah I'm going home.
My nephews Hasif,Haziq,Nuqman and my one and only niece, Fatimah are surely the cure to all those feelings I'm having.
With them, I''ll only feel one thing :

H A P P Y

Kids... Chik is coming home tomorow!! :D

Wassalam~

Arrrggghhh!!!

Assalamualaykum.

Finally, the moment that I'm afraid of has come.
Pa'chik, if you remembered, I once told you about this fear I'm having.
I guess they didn't take much time to do this.
Or should I just keep my mouth shut next time?
[Friends being saying mulut Fizzy ni masin!!]
Kan dah kena!!! Huwaaaaaaaaa!!!

BLOCKED!!

Help!

Assalamualaykum..
During my lunch break yesterday [at the course], I checked my email and was a bit shocked to read a forwarded message from my TKC OGA.The message entitled "A brother is lost" caught my eyes and I went on reading it.
One of our OGs brother was missing since the mid of July and the family was dissappointed as the police had done almost nothing to find him.

He is 26 and mentally disabled, but that doesn't mean anyone should take this missing case very lightly.
According to Kak Leng (tkc8993) [who forwarded the message from the sister], the police even said that since the missing person is already 26, they did not prioritize the case.
Dang! Anyways, there was an article that came out in The Star last Friday.
You can read it here.


And this is the email from his sister Kak Mie (tkc8993) forwarded by Kak Leng:

Salam,
Hi all.
I know this is about to become like me airing my dirty laundry for the world to know, but I feel so desperate.I need to tell this to you girls.My brother Salhi has been ill with a psychiatric illness.Schizophrenia to be precise. He is 26 and he started having mental disturbance at 17 when he was in MCKK lagi.He was the genious of the family, the badut of the family and the best little brother anyone could ever wish for.
Past 10 years saw him deteriorating and my heart sgt sgt sebak when this time, I went to the hospital in KB to find him locked up in a cage, together with people I would not even look at, bcos they scare me. He had extra muscular twitches and gaunt facial expression. Memang tak nampak mcm my used to be little brother anymore. In between bites of coney dog ( dia suka A&W) he managed to tell me 'Nak sekolah balik Kak Mie please '. Repeatedly. I just held back tears.
We took him out, and he was stable during my wedding. Masa reception I kept him occupied with a camera so people don't feel obliged to make a petty talk with a 'weird' looking man. Everything was fine. On Friday the 13th, he left home saying he wanted to go for a walk. RM 3.50 in his pocket. He never came back. Duit tak ada, IC tak ada. We looked for him everywhere, satu Kelantan. No news.
He hasn't taken his medications for 2 weeks now, I tak tahulah how he is now.Mungkin kalau you all jalan2 kat KL nampak budak gila (I have to accept this now) talking to himself, kotor, kurus tak terurus, kejap cakap english kejap cakap kelantan, that's him. Let me know. What I fear is that he got hit by a lorry ke, in a ditch somewhere waiting to be found. I am writing almost with tears all the time. Partly because I am frustrated there wasn't much time for me in Malaysia, to do anything. Police report has been filed and my other brother has written in the Star.
Now this waiting game is making me very apprehensive.Usually he'll find means to go back to Kuala Kangsar. 2 kali he was found in MCKK in the past. His memory seemed to have stopped at that point in hislife. Allah sahajalah yang tahu why he is tested this far. To him he is still 17.
Doakan so he's looked after by people yang he come across, who would find sympathy in them to give him food and a place to shut his eyes. Insy. Amiin. And I am sorry if anybody finds this upsetting.

Love, Najmiah

Dr. Najmiah K Ahmad
Clinical Fellow in Anaesthetics
York District General.

Second message:

I go through a cycle of optimism and pessimism. Looking at how he was found last time after 4 days missing , by the roadside, cengkung and dishevelled, makan tak minum tak tidur tak, I just hope he's still alive.On the cause of his illness, I am not the best to outline the cause, but what i know is always complained about being bullied in MCKK. To what extent we didn't know because at the time it's our fault we thought he was'just saying it'.So nobody paid attention to his complaints.
After getting some prize money for his 8As PMR from a Japanese Minister he ran away from school but not to home, but to KL. When we found him he said he couldn't stand school. Nak balik rumah takut my dad marah. My dad took him out of school and he went to a school in Kelantan. Towards his SPM he was getting worse but managed 2A1 - Physics and Add Maths.
Already on tablet he joined the flying school, he was always fascinated by airplanes, always wanted to be a pilot. Half a year he was there (Kedah I think) they found his tablets and he was expelled. He took a turn for the worse.When he got slightly better I got him enrolled in a private college. He received a best student award when he was on this medication tradename Domatil. Somehow the tablet was stopped ( pricey I think) and he was on Risperidone ( for those medics who are interested) , he is never stable since and he couldn't sit his exams.
To what extent was he bullied? Was it very bad that he couldn't tell anyone? Sexually? Or was he already 'crazy' so people bullied him? Chicken ke egg ke. I reserve my comments for now on boarding schools.
May he returns safe.
Amiin.

Wallahualam.. I do hope somebody can offer some help.And if there's any MCKK OBs reading this, I also hope that you can spread this news.He was an Old Boy regardless he was only there until form 3.
Wassalam~